just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
