you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
