Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
