he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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