So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
