the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize