I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
