so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
