I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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