This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
