After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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