it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
