What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
