you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize