So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
