Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We left an ass print on the piano.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
