Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
