@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize