All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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