its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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