If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
