We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
