in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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