Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
