all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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