There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
