Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
