i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
