do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
