I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
