it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
