So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
