1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
