Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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