"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
