Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
