if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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