well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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