cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
