Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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