to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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