I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
