some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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