I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
