I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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