she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
