gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
