Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he thought i was a dude.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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