I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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