So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
