i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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