Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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