Define "chronic" masturbator.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
