Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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