I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
