Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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