Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
